This Effed Up Thing of Mine..

*Mood: depressed*
*listening to: Saviour - BVB*

.. my mind
my mind is so fucked up
it will say one thing and its opposite at the same time.
it will say im happy and sad at the same time.
i feel like its acttually not there half the time, to tell me right from wrong.
you'll never notice because i choose to not show it
its mainly the reason i always look like i'm depressed.
now, you'll notice that, and come up to me and ask if im ok.
i'll just brush you off and say that i'm just tired.

now i believe i need some sort of help
but im too shy or whatever to go and ask for it
the only "help" i get is by coming home from school,
going up into my room, closing the door
blasting music in my ears, and just curl up into a ball like form
trying to not cry and not think of resluting to my last resort

i'm trying my best to overcome this
but nothing seems to be working.
maybe i should just go to my last resort and
make my mind happy, but than would i be happy too?